i'm sick of things being fucked up

i'm sick of people being angry or sad or mean or distant or whatever
i am sick of all the shit that has been going down lately
i want things to get better
to go back to being good
a few months ago, things were so, so good.

and now it's like... it let go of the rope that keeps my life in check and fwoom
it's all fucked up.

i don't know

maybe i am making a mountain out of a molehill
maybe i'm not
i don't know
i really don't

still nights fall on frozen ears
frozen hands
drift back and saturated in the scent of my sins
it doesn't matter
it stopped mattering
in four hours water will wash it away
flowing over the shaking legs
fighting to hold up a nauseous body
that would empty it out
if there was anything to be emptied
no longer part of me
none of it is
i've drifted away
tapped into a dish to sit
for weeks
months
saturated in the scent of my sins
it doesn't matter

The scent is bitter
Like the dying aromatics we inhale
Curling skyward
Like a fleeting and ardent fuck you to the heavens.
And our mark on the world is gone
In seconds
Diffusing in the atmosphere
Leaving nothing but a dented filter in our wake
Far past smoldering away
And this scent is bitter
Our scent is bitter

there's nothing better

than sitting on my roof after a less than good day on a drizzly and dripping afternoon

Didn't go to school today.

Didn't do anything today.
I got up... twenty minutes ago, not even.

But idk.
It's /that/ day.
I had completely forgotten about it, but it is in fact /that/ day.



And it's been two years, motherfucker.
Two years.

I don't know.
Today is just... one of those days.