i feel hypothetical right now

i don't know what that entails

its one of those nights where i wish i could unzip my skin and step out for a bit
pretend it was a shell
and leave everything back inside the shell
and exist outside myself for a little
be unaffected by thing
not retain them or think about them or anything
i kind of wish i could just let stuff happen
stop thinking for a little bit
sleep walk and talk and make friends and not alienate anyone

i'm going to alienate everyone eventually
i don't know why
but i probably will
and maybe by then i'll have finished in cold blood

haha i fucking hate this
whats it called....
priorities
fuck those

cigarette ashes smell so terrible its almost poetic

the spots from the blood that dripped into my pillow
soaking through the cotton and stuffing into the sheet
and it trickles down past the ear that
slowly set it free
the world is falling apart and killing me

the world is falling apart and its falling through my fingers
and the world is crumbling down and its hitting my shoulders like fire
and the darkness of the world around me, with everyone asleep
blatantly alone with no one
this silence is crushing me and
i cannot breath

i try to speak through my teeth
play some pointless sound to make it all better
and somehow
i'm in this situation again and everything about to break
i don't where i'm going this time
but i can tell it isn't good

two hours later
the sun is awake and he's coming up from behind the clouds
the light is pooling in my eyes and
i guess i survived the night
people walking their dogs
getting the newspaper
going to work once again
and somehow everything is better

but the stain from the blood
left on my pillowcase is proof of the flood
of the death and fires raging
when the world fell apart
and drowned out the crickets chirping
when the world fell apart
and told me that i was dying

and somehow i guess i survived the night
and somehow i guess everything is better
and somehow i survived the night
and somehow everything is better